The TWAIN blog

My game has been off the past few weeks.

I play racquetball three times a week with a colleague. The sad thing is that this is a colleague whom I taught how to play racquetball just within the past year.

He is consistently beating me now. Knocking the crap outta me!

I kind of laugh it off but it is really start to annoy me. I keep trying different moves, switch hits, and adjusting my swing. I invested in new equipment too.

But…my game suffers because I keep playing the same serves. I can’t get over that hump. I do watch some online videos showing new serves but I don’t attempt them as often as I should. I picked up a business card for a local coach in the area and may invest in some training to get me to the next level.

But racquetball isn’t the only game where I have been off and not changing my plays.

Work is where I have been consistently losing the most ground. I haven’t been challenging myself as I thought I should. I have been in a rut and didn’t know it until I was challenged this week. This isn’t about the substitute situation. That was merely pointing me in the direction to change my perspective to some inner reflection.

My weakness here is also in my serv(ice). I feel I am strung out in so many directions and on so many projects that I am not getting anything done. I am not helping anyone. I am really just stretching myself thin. This isn’t new. This isn’t something I picked up in a new role. This is a pattern of mine.

The symptoms are all the same each time: frustration to depression to going numb. I experienced the numbing two days ago when I realized I had been sitting on my couch for two hours without TV, radio, computer, interaction. I had completely phased out somehow just staring at the clock. Two hours is a long time to go without sleeping or stimulus but that’s what the numbness is to me. That is the rut. That is the barrier.

I immediately cussed myself out (internally) and ended with something like “Snap Out of It!!” (I live alone so therefore I get to yell and cuss myself out.) My pouting was over. It was time to get back into it. It was time to rise up.

And to do so, I have to kick myself in the rear and own up to the fact that I need to do as Alvin Toffler suggested in his quote about 21st century literacy: I need to learn, unlearn, and relearn. I have some work to do.

I played racquetball tonight with this idea of unlearning and relearning. At one point, I actually ran to the ball instead of waiting for it to come to me. I was out of breath. I pulled a muscle. My wrist was sore. I had sweat dripping more than usual. But I realized by doing this step, I had changed my game. In my game, I have been complacent and I stand right in the middle waiting for the ball to come to me. I haven’t been moving. I haven’t been running. I haven’t been out of breath.

I still lost tonight but I feel so much better because I tried; I moved; I ran; I was out of breath; and I tried a new serve.

And I can see so many similarities between this silly game and the silly work game. Can you?

I was informed today that part of my role now includes the registration of Substitutes to our district.

I have a lot to say about this but I think it can be summed up in looking at systems. I am a systems-thinker and when I implement an idea, I follow it through as a process to show how the system will work. I have to see it operate and reverse-engineer it to work properly so I try to think of it from the perspective of a new person trying it out. It is time-consuming but in the end, I have an idea of how it will operate for the most basic of users to the advanced one as well.

I don’t think the district wants me to be over Substitutes. I think they just need help developing a system for overseeing how Substitutes are put in to the work force. As much as someone could complain about having a new responsibility to manage that belongs in another department, I actually choose to see this as a blessing! Someone believes in my systems-approach (and thus believes in me) to handle more responsibility to make such a precious commodity work better. I have to choose this perspective because the alternative is to think that someone wants me to do more than just manage the visioneering of technology and actually take on more work because they might think I have nothing to do. I hope this isn’t the case but then no one has told me that this is truth so I am putting my eggs in the basket of hope.

As I look around the web at how other districts do Substitute training, I see that they are copping to the same method as before: scheduled dates of training taking place 2-4 times a year. Large group instruction that is set within the four-walled institution of instruction usually with some sort of snack, a sign-in sheet, and a riveting presentation.

I can see why this system isn’t working.

Subs are in high demand! And they want to come in and work but are restricted to having to attend one set meeting for each semester.

How about offering online video training modules for substitute candidates that allows them to get trained as they become available. Making online training work for the commodity that districts need to help our teachers succeed: Substitutes.

As I said before, I don’t want to think that I have to be responsible for managing subs and for being the human resources department in the future. I am thinking this is a way to help a department move from an antiquated use of time to a system that takes time out of the process by making it work 24/7 to be on their side.

Maybe by doing this, we are helping someone use their time better and the entire process can be handed back to them because it is successfully implemented. Or maybe the Technology Department merges to become the Human & Technology Resource Department??!

Your thoughts? Because mine….are in a deep well of depression right now.

I just got back from watching the newest Harry Potter movie and I appreciate how each movie and book challenges the educational system in such different ways. I promise not to give away spoilers from the movie(s) as I go through this.

The school, Hogwarts, is different than other schools. The basic foundation is for meeting students who are different than normal students. It is a school for the exceptionally gifted but those gifts aren’t necessarily tied to knowledge or passing a state exam. Some will become wizards but there are other roles they can prepare for as well.

The paintings of historical contributors to the wizarding world are interactive. They speak and move about in their frames.

Students are sorted not by grades or scores (but by a hat!). If you read the book, the students are sorted into houses based on their personalities and what they may develop into.

The hallways are ever-changing with stairwells moving around and changing direction. Some classes take place outside and in forests.

Teachers interact with the students in the hallways and during dining times. They are ever-present in the hallways and available at all hours of the day. They answer questions and refer students to the library to find more information on what they are searching.

All classes in this school use project-based, interactive learning. Students make potions, learn to fly on a broom, how to levitate objects, and how to plant screaming vegetables.

Textbooks are common in the Harry Potter world. In a previous story, a book on monsters was a monster itself complete with eyes and teeth. But a common thread in all the stories is how the textbooks are the same today as they were for previous generations going through this special school. One such book on Potions in the current movie references how many errors are in the book based on the writing by one of the previous owners of the book.

A scene in the movie has Harry prepare a potion that no one else in the class can solve based on their notes in their textbook; but Harry has notes written in to his book that allow him to solve the task.

All of this said, there is a certain “magic” about Hogwarts that does make it a place of wonder while still being a school. I wonder if the millions of children who read about this wonderful place realized that it was….school. I think this is one of the major reasons JK Rowling made such a successful storyline because most of the story takes place in a school. Not just any school though – a school built on imagination.

The storyline that carries the most themes surrounding public education can be found in “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix”. There is a character by the name of Dolores Umbridge who really personifies the danger of state-controlled education. Most of the Hogwarts scenes concern Harry fighting against a teacher who wants to discredit him and get more control of the school itself. Miss Umbridge removes the things in the school that make it so special. She restricts student access and even limits the teacher interaction and lessons they can teach. It is a very dark storyline but I think Mrs. Rowling didn’t just throw this in as a sub-plot. She really is saying something about education and schooling in all her stories.

Based on the wonder of Hogwarts and the world of Harry Potter, can our schools become more like these magical schools?

Can our foundation for schooling be for teaching each child as an exceptional child?

Can our schools have interactivity with images? Is there technology available to make this happen?

How do we sort our students?

Construction issues aside, can we change our hallways? Must the classrooms all look the same? How many classrooms have the same things posted on the walls each year?

Do teachers eat lunch with students? Can teachers be more interactive in the hallways? When students are not in the classroom, where do they go to get answers? Who pushes them to libraries and resources for learning?

Are we teaching kids to fly? Are we letting them learn by doing? Are they getting hands-on experience in a guided practice? Are classes taught outside the classroom?

I like the books because they take you to a place of wonder and imagination but constantly reinforce the need for education. A style of education not seen in public schools. The last book takes the characters out of the safety of their school where they must use all they have learned to fight the ultimate battle. They are tested.

What can we do to make learning, education, and our schools a place of wonder and imagination?

Nothing to add to this video. I think it speaks volumes.

The past few days have been a whirlwind and I am glad to finally be home here in Kerrville. I spent last Thursday and Friday in Austin at the TEC-SIG Fall meeting with colleagues in the field. It was great to see so many people out there in the field and to hear the concerns we all share! As someone new to this field, it was a little daunting too because I feel so out of of it in just trying to transition from campus coordination to district director. I am such a NEWB!

I am also someone who is constantly comparing myself to the successes of others and in that crowd, there are some monumental leaders who will always be several steps ahead of the rest of us. Renegades and Mavericks – you know who you are (and if not, I will tell you in person!) and then there are those of us just happy to be following your blogs and to read a note from you on Twitter.

I already posted about the goings on in all these trainings but I just spent 6 hours in my car with the radio off in my own personal development. My own reflexive time to start figuring out how to make this work. And I wish I had a simple answer but I don’t. I have a very hard pill to swallow and much applied learning to put in place.

I know that I am a people-pleaser. Someone who wants to make everyone happy and that means selling out my own soul at times or my own happiness to make something happen. As a campus person who was tied to the teachers, this was easy to do because I felt I was making a martyr of myself and connecting to the teachers. I was scoring points for them so that they would like me more and then that was my “in” to get them to enjoy my training. I knew this as I was doing it. I knew it wasn’t right but it was my method.

Now, I realize in my new role that this won’t work. It hasn’t yet and if it continues it will blow up in my face. I have known this for some time but was fighting it because changing my method is very hard. Why change??

I am also now a supervisor of a group of people that serve the district in their capacity. This is new to me as I have only ever before had 2 assistants who reported to someone else. This is my first supervision role. The idea of making people happy all the time will not work here either.

So, I have to change….everything.

I am freaked out by this realization and rallied by it as well. I finally feel like I have some direction and resources. The Technology Directors Academy was just what I needed. I have been so overwhelmed that I did not even know the questions I needed to ask. It is the same feeling as the first year teacher thrust into a role and learning in the first few weeks that it isn’t like the lessons in college.

I haven’t been at this for more than a few months and I have already felt regret, depression, frustration, lost, ungrounded, self-loathing, and complete distrust in my own abilities – much like the first semester of my first year.

The Academy is something I recommend technology directors take if it is their first year or their 11th. I even recommend that if your instructional technology coordinator is separate from your infrastructure tech coordinator, that the two directors attend this academy together. It is collaborative and so helpful for developing those (BHAGs – Big, Hairy, Audacious Goals) and a plan for uniting the service orientation of our jobs together. I hear how districts have that rift between instructional and infrastructure and the rift that grows year by year between them and this Academy could be a solution for you both. Really! It’s definitely a good start in the right direction.

I am looking forward to days 3-5 of this group. It was great sharing with so many varieties of technology directors at different tables and group games. I hope we continue the conversation on our blogs, wikis, and NING groups. And if any of you are reading this blog would like to add your input, I would love to share it here with the readers as well.

Here is where you can find more information from TCEA about their Technology Coordinator’s Academy: http://www.tcea.org/Training/Pages/TechnologyCoordinatorsAcademy.aspx

And a huge debt of gratitude to our excellent trainers!! Not a moment of boredom or waste in the time we were together. Thank you for sharing so many resources with us and for putting me at ease in developing an action plan!

Kari Rhame from Deer Park ISD

Robert Harris from Highland Park ISD

Lori Gracey from Bastrop ISD